Humans of Phi: Lalaine Quinan

What led you to pursue medicine and how much have these reasons changed? What keeps you motivated and focused through the long years of studying?

There are moments before studying medicine
where I was certain I wanted to go to this direction.
Putting on that white uniform even if it's just for Career Day.
Knowing that I'll be the first doctor in the family.
Getting my feet wet in the cold river,
walking to the next far away barangay without a doctor.

There are moments in studying medicine
where I was certain that I was in the right place.
My first murmur.
My first delivery.
My first "doc!".
My first PF in the form of milk tea.

But there are moments where
I was sure I didn't belong.
"Let's call on our students" on zoom.
Listening to a mother in the verge of tears, about her son's conditions,
not sure what to say next or how to comfort her.
Tremors and not being able to extract blood on the second try.

- moments where I'd question if it was a place I deserved.
My first PF in the form of pastries.
My first "doc!".
My first delivery.
My first murmur.

But all these are moments you hold on to.
Moments, uncertain or certain,
that have a special place in our heart
that we hold on dearly to
that we keep on the back of our head
because you know deep down
it's a place where you and I belong.