Mommy Anika

Mommy Anika shares her experiences through 17 months of breastfeeding her baby, Lucia. 

I had quite a tough start to my breastfeeding journey. When Lucia was born, she was diagnosed with jaundice, so she needed to do some blue light therapy. We were advised by her doctors to give breast milk from the milk bank to supplement my supply as the blue light tends to dehydrate the baby. This made me feel so sad, and I started to think that because my milk was not enough, I wasn’t doing enough. At just 2 days postpartum, I tried pumping to increase my supply. But after 30 minutes of using the hospital pump, I was only able to produce less than an ounce of milk. My nipples had become sore, my breasts easily got engorged, and my attempt to produce more actually made it more difficult because I was oversupplying already. We then decided to give Lucia breast milk from the milk bank instead to supplement with my direct feeding. It satisfied her and relieved some of the pressure from me to produce. It was a win-win situation for us both. 

Throughout my breastfeeding journey, I’ve realized that breastfeeding is not easy. It takes commitment and dedication to see it through. In the beginning, it was exhausting to feed 15-20x a day. I have never felt more exposed, and I really felt like my body was no longer my own. Now at 17 months of breastfeeding, while feeding is much less and no longer as painful, it takes the same amount of dedication and commitment to continue and keep my supply up. It is hard work from the day you start until the day you decide to stop.

After all these months of breastfeeding my daughter, I look back and think that if I could do anything differently, I would have put less pressure on myself.

After all these months of breastfeeding my daughter, I look back and think that if I could do anything differently, I would have put less pressure on myself. I would trust that my body knows how much to give my baby and that my supply, whatever the amount, is just right for my child. I also wouldn’t have worried too much, and not have felt bad for having to resort to breast milk from the milk bank at the beginning. Even though it wasn’t my milk, it was still breast ​​milk - the best form of nutrition for my child. Since then, I have donated so much of my pumped milk to other moms and babies who needed it. Just like me, I’m sure the moms who receive my breast milk feel relieved, that while they are unable to provide their own breast milk, they are still able to nourish their child with the best milk available. 

Truly, breast milk is so powerful and special! I mean, what other drink (or food) can shift its components and adapt to exactly what the child needs? It's amazing how even just a few drops of colostrum is enough to nourish a newborn baby, or how milk with COVID-19 antibodies is enough to protect and keep a child free of COVID-19 despite exposure in the environment. Not many people realize this, but once they do, it is no surprise that they will try to keep breastfeeding for as long as possible. 

My advice to moms who are thinking about starting their breastfeeding journey, or thinking about continuing, is to just keep going, just keep trying! The benefits and the results are worth any struggle you might have or feel. But if after trying and giving your all, and you realize that breastfeeding is just not possible, there is no shame in asking for help--

        Breast milk is still powerful and special, even if it doesn’t come from you.
        It will still nourish and protect your child, even if it doesn’t come from you. 

​Breastfeeding my child has truly strengthened our bond. What many people don’t realize is that it is more than just providing food and nourishment for your child. Breastfeeding is providing protection, security and comfort in a way only a mother can. And now more than ever, I truly love and appreciate how much breastfeeding has given us special moments that only the both of us share.